Fraggle Rock or The Muppets?

In a bizarre twist, I've learned from LM that HD and his departed pal, obviously unaware that this blog had them down as Fraggle Rock, had pictures of Muppets pinned up in their offices, and unguardedly told almost anyone who asked that they were representations of DoS and the Local Big Cheese. T3 told me this morning that at a dinner the other week (which I cried-off) HD spent the whole evening slagging off DoS.

DoS is back. And HD is flying back to Blighty tomorrow for a week's "business" and two weeks' hols. I have a feeling we won't see him again, but that could also be described as wishful thinking.

A Complicated Equation

HD came into the staffroom with our advances on salary. Without prompting, he got onto the subject of our Residency permits, without which we can’t conveniently leave and return to the country. He indicated that he was desperate to get away over the border for a long weekend of alcohol, and “get away from this shithole”. This was a bit embarrassing because T3 is not the sort of lady who appreciates swearing and is besides a convert to Islam.

That aside, it was gratifying to see the little twat’s suffering. And for drink! Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m as much a fan of the odd few pints odf Guinness and a decent amount of wine with good food as the next person. But I don’t miss it. It’s something to look forward to, not to crave.

I was unsure of the state of my advances to date, and arranged to check them with HD. (Even over this, he made life difficult, saying not to worry, it was all in spreadsheet. Very good, but I needed to know how much). Anyway, it’s about £600 to date. It’ll all be taken from my April UK salary.

And then I made a few phone calls to Playgroups and the British School to see about getting my little girl in there next year. They are all heavily oversubscribed, and even if I got her a place, the fees would give our cash-flow a severe pummelling.

The size of my advances – working out at about £80-£90 per week – is much higher than expected. (On previous trips here, I’d usually have change out of £200 over a ten week contract). That, and the fact that it’s going to be difficult if not out of the question to get a school place, have led me to radically rethink the future out here.

There’s an equation in these matters: it’s complicated but essentially it boils down to the balance between quality of life and income. The salary here, taking into account the pay rise, means that we could pay our bills and maintain our home in the UK, and have enough money out here. But the lack of nursery places, and the prevailing culture here will have a seriously detrimental effect on the wife and bairn. It’s not like the European Mediterranean where family life is partly lived in public and is highly regarded. Here, family life is lived behind closed doors. Which is ok if you have a big house and an extended family to be visited by or to visit. We don’t, here. We’d be cooped up too much. It wouldn’t be fun. And the salary, enough to live on, wouldn’t be enough to compensate.

And so. The plan that’s forming is to have the family come out here for a couple of months, as soon as the wife’s finished the course she’s studying at the moment, and the Residence/Visa situation permits. She’s keen to see the place, and it would be like a long holiday. And then move on in the new academic year. I don’t know where, but it must answer to the same financial/life-quality equation. If we can adjust our UK finances sufficiently, then maybe Spain or Italy: we can have some family time together.

Good Day

In an email, after reading a brief note of my travails, Mrs Teacher commented that we were all, including HD, suffering from ship psychosis. She knows a bit about that, and I think she’s probably right.

Anyhow, I spoke to LM and said that I couldn’t really give Gomez anything. If this was an FE college in the UK, and that is what it aspires to, then he would have to apologise for leaving my classroom, and then I would (or wouldn’t) agree to his return. However, LM had a word with him, and the class started as usual, with no big sit down. It became, actually, a very good morning’s work.

I also spoke to [Rick] who was in our building in his jeans sorting out boxes of hardware with ITB. I wanted to arrange for The Company to pay for my return flight direct – and not over-stress my always fragile cash-flow. No problem.

In the afternoon break, HD handed T3 and me a letter which gave notice of a very decent pay rise. The letter begins, “We have been reviewing the salary package for academic staff roles over a period of some months.” We? Some months? One imagines a committee composed of accountants, teaching managers, perhaps a trade union official, all entrusted with this difficult task back in December. What a road they’ve travelled, meeting every morning to thrash this out, comparing salaries of academic staff throughout the world.

Factions would form, alliances be made. There would be fall outs, both petty and serious. A whole week lost, perhaps, to the vexed question of whether they should have tea or coffee in their mid morning break. Until, at last, in mid March, they were able to report on the suggested, tenatative size of a possible increase. This was poo-pooed by DoS, who substituted the figure he’d decided on months before.

HD of course hung around whilst we read the letter and looked pleased with himself, like a seven year old who’s bought his Ma a birthday present.

Goodfellas

LM dropped by tonight. We’ve had a few references to the gangster genre lately, and he was able to tell me that HD has a hard on for me. He’s got it in for me, that is, if you don’t follow The Sopranos. I was a bit taken aback. Apparently, this is a continuation of his complaint about my attitude, and the fault seems to be that I’m not deferential enough when speaking to management, HD himself in particular. It’s a genuine puzzle. I’m no-one’s arse licker, but I’m polite to everyone I deal with, I like to think. Ah well.

I can handle this, but LM’s looking very cheesed off. I think it’s him that HD’s got the hard on for, actually, and I’m just another stick to beat him with, now that TOHH is off the scene. It could be that HD, a kind of semi-literate, muscular hamster, is the sort of manager who best deals with people by beating them into submission, convincing them of their worthlessness...

To continue with the language of the motif, he’s a cocksucker. This morning, I heard LM ask him if he had any ideas about improving the students’ rotten punctuality. HD mimicked cocking and firing a large gun, sound effects and all. He reminds me of David Brent, only not so funny.

I don’t know how this will end for LM. He’s missing his wife, and she’s afraid of flying, and if he’s taking shit from management, well, why stay? He’s got enough qualifications and experience to get a University job, and do a Doctorate. Which is what he’s talked about doing tonight. He’s been there before, but talk of resignation is like talk of suicide – it should never be entirely ignored, and one day, the talker might just act.

I had thought that in the event of LM jumping ship, I might be in line for his shoes. But not with HD having the needle. Anyway, T4 is expected soon, and she was on the shortlist for that job, so she must be favourite. IF she ever gets here. She’s been in the pipeline for eight months now.

I got the impression that LM would feel better if I jumped with him, but I won’t. This is ok for me, especially when, inshallah, the wife and bairn get out here. HD’s animosity can actually give quite a bit of entertainment value.

What’s the stupid little fuck gonna do? Clip me? Forget about it!

Hell is Other People

A topsy turvey kind of a day. No teaching. We got to the college to find that TOHH, who, charged with keeping the staff room, had mislaid it. It was an hour before college workmen were able to break in to the place.

Then we had a faculty meeting, addressed initially by DoS, who gave us some of the Big Picture – the best detail was that Big Cheese had presented a portfolio about what was what at the college, and that this had been okayed by the Minister. He’d said something along the way about resources, and at the end asked if there were any questions. TOHH asked if we could have a scanner in the staffroom.

He buggered off and then HD gave us the Medium Picture. This took several hours and I can’t remember very much about it now. There was nothing new, mostly speculation about when we’ll get out of the temporary-temporary classrooms and into the temporary ones – at least a couple of weeks. During a coffee break, KST teacher informed all present of the joke I’d made this morning about my home-made wine turning to vinegar. I wish he’d kept his mouth shut. This led to HD telling a story about some oil worker who’d gone on holiday and his cleaning lady had been alarmed by the sound of his fermenting alcohol (eh? Yes, I know), she’d called the police who’d broken down the door and subsequently arrested yer man and left him for two days in a hole in the ground. I said in light of his anecdote and the impossibility of making wine with all these vinegar flies around, I wouldn’t be bothering in the future.

KST had complained earlier this morning about coming home to find bulbs changed in his bungalow, and we agreed that it wasn’t a good thing to have workmen coming in whilst we weren’t there. Anyway, after the meeting I saw R., the Mr Fix It, and mentioned this to him on KST’s behalf (he wasn’t there at the time), and wished I hadn’t bothered because I got a long bad-tempered diatribe about how he and he alone had changed the lightbulbs and blah di fucking blah.

LM asked me to lead a meeting about the placement test, which needs to be refined, and suggested the three teachers take one or two bits of it each to work on. I told him that TOHH was unlikely to be co-operative. He said he wasn’t setting anyone up, but... He had to go to a meeting and could I deal with it? And so I suggested we work on the placement test, and TOHH of course refused point blank claiming to be “snowed under”. I felt very unhappy and uncomfortable with the whole situation. Trying to do anything with TOHH’s co-operation is just downright impossible.

She wasn’t done yet, announcing as the working day drew to a close that she hadn’t any money, and when would HD be here with our local currency advances. The arrangement is, we put in expenses claims at the end of the week and get the cash at the start of the next week. And we put in requests for advances at the start of the week, and get them at the end, on the Thursday. I asked her if she’d put in a request and she admitted that she hadn’t. So I don’t know how she expected to get money now. LM appeared and she asked for an advance. DoS wasn’t around, the safe was locked. LM did a fair bit of running around and eventually got cash from HD’s own pocket for her, which was accepted without a thank you and with very bad grace.

The tonight I was having a non-alcoholic beer and kebab with LM and he dropped the bombshell that TOHH has alleged that he’s been bullying her. He had a shouting match with HD about this today. Something about an investigation. He’s so pissed off, he’s thinking of resigning.

Now this is all like some bizarre game of chess. It’s extremely difficult, if not impossible, for me to work with TOHH. She must be impossible to manage. I feel that we’re in a situation here which cannot continue. TOHH has certainly turned against LM big time, and is prepared to lie to get him into trouble; I can’t accept allegations of bullying, which he says stem from his telling her that her teamwork was unsatisfactory, which led to her walking out - turning-on-her-heel indeed, - from her five-week staff appraisal with LM. I can say that TOHH gives me the heeby geebies.

So during the last twenty four hours I’ve had to face the likelihood that I won’t be here much longer, especially if LM goes. I got caught in the crossfire today with the placement test – he cannot work with TOHH and tried to get me to fill in for him over that. If I’ve got any criticism of LM, it’s for putting me in that difficult situation, one I’m not being paid for – though I understand the circumstances that led to the situation. The atmosphere is poisoned. It’s not a pleasant workplace, on top of the isolation and separation from family.

And it’s that which is making it unbearable. My wife emails me and tells me how unhappy she is, missing me as she does, and worn out having to cope with a two year old on her own, and the two year old is herself missing me too. Of course, I’m pining for the pair of them.

I could cope with the family separation anxiety, and I could cope with the poison antics of TOHH. Coping with both is rather too much at the moment. But I’ll hang on – things have gone from cheerful to dark in a night and a day, and can swing around again. A coping strategy I’m working on with my class is to imagine it’s all a PC strategy game: Can I get them to Expert level? And with the LM v TOHH debacle, I’ll try to keep out of it as much as possible, and pretend I’m watching a soap opera unfold. Or something.

More Fun with Turns-on-Her-Heels

I've made no secret of the fact that, once I get my MA, I expect to be doing a job not unlike LM's. I've told him this and that I'm watching how he handles things with professional detachment. What I haven't told him is, I think he's doing an impossible job. We walked down to the local shops together last night - it's a pleasant walk if you go the right way, along a tree lined and very quiet lane, bordered by some very wild looking cattle pasture on one side.

He said he was asking me as a friend, Did I think his management was ok, and he was asking this because he could not deal with TOHH, and it was being suggested to him by his line manager, HD, that perhaps his "management style" was to blame. He also told me that she'd knocked on his door on Friday (day off for everyone), saying that she couldn't stand this anymore, something had to be done NOW, and then when he tried to reply she, well, turned on her heels.

I was quite relieved to be able to let off steam about her myself. She's taken this job without thinking. This is not an easy situation for someone whose only interest in life appears to be shopping. So, OK, she made a mistake, but then she could give notice - EFL teachers can walk into any city in the non-English speaking world and find a job within hours, if not minutes. There's no excuse whatsoever to feel chained down.

But she seems to rather whine, complain and unsettle the troops. She seems to have fixed on LM as the cause of her woes, claiming to have been lied to at her interview. This is all a bit much, LM is a genuinely decent bloke who's rather good at his job. And I doubt he fibbed at the interview - why would he? I think she probably heard "swimming pool" and didn't hear an future markers. (As if a daily swim will keep her inner misery at bay...)

Things have apparently come into sharper relief for LM and TOHH because of her five-week review where he had to record her attitude as "unsatisfactory". (The Company's form only gave a choice between that and "satisfactory", ffs: what else could he do?)

This afternoon I was sitting in my window with my shisha pipe and The Sopranos on the laptop, and TOHH went by and asked me if I had an Internet connexion. I said that I did, but that it was very slow. She said, "I haven't had a connexion all morning." And then she stood there and just looked at me as if waiting for a reply, for what seemed like a very long time. She didn't look right. She really shouldn't be here.

On the other hand, LM told me, the feedback he gets from her students is very satisfactory. I'm not too suprised by that. She is one of those EFL teachers who almost worship their learners, advocating for them almost as a parent would. I've met quite a lot of teachers like that, mostly middle aged childless women, like TOHH. On the surface, it's an attitude which passes for devotion to the job. Actually, I consider it to be unprofessional: one needs to be good natured and courteous, but you're not going to take them out for a burger and a milkshake at the end of the class.

During our walk, LM speculated on "If", (not "When") this contract's teddy bear event will come. This thought cheered me up no end: the scenario of angry crowds outside the college, and HD escorting TOHH to the airport, fielding phone calls from The Sun and The Daily Mail as he did so... Incidentally, reading between the lines, the teddy-bear teacher looks like a classic student worshipper. And look what happened to her.

This morning we went straight into town to buy stationery. We were joined by the DoS, and a local Mr Fix It, and went on with them to get SIM cards for telephones. I’d already got one a few days ago, but management believes that ones you can buy over the counter are dodgy – the ones we got today needed the production of a passport, a form, and of course, a photo.

Back at the college, we had a pow-wow with HD and DoS. The latter is a small unassuming bloke, but carries some indefinable air of authority and meaning business.

He gave us some background. This college is part of a big picture of modernisation here. Millions of immigrant workers have been lately expelled. Quarter of a million civil servants have been made redundant. The idea now is, to retrain the workforce to deal with the rest of the world.

The current educational system is acknowledged to be woefully inadequate, and has no FE system. Our college will address that, giving training in key skills, business, management, and engineering. Crucially, all of this will be done in English. So our department, whilst fundamental, is not the rationale. In other words, it’s and English-medium FE college, which naturally entails English teaching: it’s NOT a school of English.

Despite the cynicism which is the stock in trade of an experienced EFL teacher, I felt rather buoyed up by my role in giving this place a leg-up to the 21^st century.

Then we got down to the nitty-gritty. Our lack of internet connexion at the accommodation is being addressed as a matter of urgency.

The current site manager, I’ll call him Ahmed, is on his way out. He’s worked in England for several years, he says, and indeed has good idiomatic control of the language. But he’s full of shit. He keeps on about the internet connexion, and how he chases the people responsible – whereas we’ve learned it’s nothing to do with him.

The security situation has also been lamentable. Somebody locks the gate in the early evening, and then goes off to one of the apartments to sleep until nearly eight the next morning. No amount of shouting will wake him. Two nights running, T2 and KST have gone out for a stroll and been unable to get back in through the gate – KST climbed in through a gap in the fence.

We’re to get either a van or a car, and the services of a driver. I asked about driving it ourselves, and the legal situation is to be looked in to.

The site’s “guard dog” has its days numbered. It’s actually just a stray who Ahmed’s befriended, and that would be ok if the bastard didn’t bark nonstop all night. LM was assured that he’d go to some friends of Ahmed’s “who have a nice big farm”. Yeah, right. Ahmed should seek some work there too.

Tellies and more furniture are subject to some kind of budget review in the UK. I said nowt, but I can live without the box for now.

LM had wondered whether it was ok for me to start a wee garden at the back of our house. I was assured today that I should go ahead. This has cheered me immensely.

After the meeting there was a bit of frantic activity to make sure we were ready to actually do some English-teaching related stuff tomorrow – placement tests – at last. It’ll be good to get them done, and then get some structure into the day when we start teaching next week.

When we got back a grim, silent, fat, mirror-glasses wearing African was introduced by Ahmed as Sinousi. He’s to do with the Internet. Maybe he looked so grim because Ahmed was getting on his nerves. Anyhow, still no internet tonight. There are guards on the gate though. And no sound of a dog barking.

Conversation with a Dalek

HD rang me a few days ago from HUDC to tell me that I won't be flying out there before the end of January. I THINK that's what he said - it was a terrible line, and he sounded like a dalek, on hallucinogens, underwater.

It was strangely disappointing because I was psyched up for departure. However, one can come to terms with such disappointment, at home with one's family whilst on the payroll. There's still a lot I can do on the curriculum mapping, and that ties in with my own academic work, so there's no need for idleness.